Perfectionism and people pleasing statistics.
Perfectionism statistics show a clear rise: the pressure young people feel from others to be perfect grew 32% between 1989 and 2017. About half of US adults call themselves people pleasers, half say they often cannot say no, and about half report feeling lonely.
By Jodie O'Malley, LICSW · Updated November 8, 2026
Perfectionism statistics
The pressure to be perfect that young people feel from others rose 32% between 1989 and 2017. By 2017, about two thirds of college students scored above the 1989 average.
Source: Curran and Hill (2019), Psychological Bulletin, 145(4). 164 samples, 41,641 college students in the US, Canada and the UK. Read the studyIn the same years, holding yourself to perfect standards rose 10%, and expecting perfection from others rose 16%. Students are harder on themselves and on others than a generation ago.
Source: Curran and Hill (2019), Psychological Bulletin. Read the studyWorrying about mistakes and judgment goes with burnout. Simply aiming high does not. Across 43 studies of 9,838 people at work, in sport and at school, the worry side of perfectionism had a clear link with burnout, while high standards on their own had a small link the other way.
Source: Hill and Curran (2016), Personality and Social Psychology Review, 20(3). Read the studyFear of mistakes goes with putting things off. Across 43 studies of about 10,000 people, worrying about mistakes and judgment was linked with more procrastination. Across 38 studies, high personal standards on their own were linked with less.
Source: Sirois, Molnar and Hirsch (2017), European Journal of Personality, 31(2). Read the studyPeople pleasing statistics
48% of Americans describe themselves as people pleasers, 52% of women and 44% of men.
Source: YouGov survey of 1,122 US adults, August 2024. Read the survey52% say they often feel they cannot say no when asked: 17% very often and 35% somewhat often.
Source: YouGov, 2024. Read the survey69% often put other people's needs ahead of their own, and 71% often go out of their way to avoid conflict.
Source: YouGov, 2024. Read the survey93% of Americans do at least one of nine people pleasing habits somewhat or very often. Almost everyone does a little.
Source: YouGov, 2024. Read the surveyLoneliness statistics
About one in two US adults report feeling lonely.
Source: Office of the US Surgeon General (2023), Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. Read the advisory20% of US adults felt lonely a lot of the day yesterday. One in five, on any given day.
Source: Gallup Panel survey of 6,289 US adults, 2024. Read the pollTime with friends in person fell from 60 minutes a day in 2003 to 20 minutes a day in 2020. For people aged 15 to 24, it fell by nearly 70%.
Source: Office of the US Surgeon General (2023), using American Time Use Survey data. Read the advisory67% of Gen Z, 65% of Millennials, 60% of Gen X and 44% of Baby Boomers were classed as lonely.
Source: The Cigna Group, Loneliness in America 2025, a survey of over 5,000 US adults. Read the report8% of US adults say they have no close friends. 53% have one to four, and 38% have five or more.
Source: Pew Research Center survey of 5,057 US adults, 2023. Read the surveyHolding it all in
Students who usually hid their feelings felt less close to others and had less support in their first months of college. Their friends noticed it too.
Source: Srivastava, Tamir, McGonigal, John and Gross (2009), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96(4). Read the studyWhat do these perfectionism statistics mean?
Two things stand out. First, the part of perfectionism that hurts is the worry: about mistakes, about judgment, about letting people down. High standards on their own are not the problem. Second, the patterns travel together. Saying yes when you mean no, hiding how you feel and doing it all yourself can leave you capable and lonely at the same time.
That is what Flexi is for: small skills to loosen the grip and let people in. Flexi is a self help skills app, not therapy.
Can I use these statistics?
Yes. Please cite the original source listed under each statistic. If this page helped you find it, a link back is kind and appreciated. Writers can find more in the Flexi press kit.
Questions people ask
Is perfectionism increasing?
Yes. A study of 41,641 college students in the US, Canada and the UK found that the pressure to be perfect that young people feel from others rose 32% between 1989 and 2017.
How many people are people pleasers?
In a 2024 YouGov survey of 1,122 US adults, 48% described themselves as people pleasers, and 52% said they often feel they cannot say no.
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