How to be okay with making mistakes: be Totally Flawsome.
To be okay with making mistakes, treat a mistake as an event, not a verdict on you. Name it, fix what needs fixing, and let the rest go. We call that being Totally Flawsome: flaws and all, and still awesome.
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Why does one small mistake ruin my whole day?
If you learned that being careful kept you safe or liked, a mistake can feel like danger. Your brain replays it to make sure it never happens again. The replay feels useful, but mostly it just keeps the sting going.
What are the signs I am hard on my own mistakes?
- You replay a typo or a small slip for hours.
- You say sorry three times for one small thing.
- You redo work that was already fine.
- You cheer other people's mistakes and treat your own like a crime scene.
- You avoid trying new things so you cannot get them wrong.
What does Totally Flawsome mean?
Flawsome means flaws and all, and still awesome. It is not a pass to stop caring. It means a mistake gets to be a small thing again, so it stops ruining the whole day. You can laugh at it, learn from it and keep going.
What does Flawsome look like?
Flawsome is a whole way of being with yourself. Here are the words we hold it with.
How do I get okay with making mistakes, one small step at a time?
Start small and on purpose. Leave one tiny flaw in place today, like a typo in a casual text. Notice the urge to fix it, let it pass, and see that nothing bad happens. Each time, your brain learns a mistake is survivable.
FM 5.11Totally FlawsomeName a flaw you pick on, say it out loud, then add: and this part of me is welcome too.
FM 5.9Real, Not ShinyLet people see an ordinary, imperfect you instead of a polished image, a little at a time.
FM 5.7Progress Over PerfectMeasure how far you have come, not how far you are from flawless, and count every small step.
FM 5.8Brave BetWeigh what you could gain against what you might risk, then take a small, healthy chance.
FM 5.3Good Enough GoldSpot where perfect is costing you, then practice handing in good enough on purpose.
FM 2.5Catch the CriticNotice the harsh inner voice and how you react to it, then soften it and choose your next move.
FM 4.3Lighten UpSet down bitterness and reach back out to people.
FM 7.8Forgive Yourself TooOwn what you did, make it right where you can, then put down the stick you beat yourself with.What is inside the Totally Flawsome deck?
74 practice cards in 9 silly groups, plus a How to Play card. Each card has three plain steps, a real example and one line to make you laugh. Here are three of them.
How Flawsome are you? Take the 2 minute quiz.
Eight everyday moments. Pick the answer that sounds most like you, not the one you think is right. Nothing you tap is saved.
Still Polishing
You hold yourself to a very high bar, and it is tiring. That makes sense: being careful has helped you. Start with one tiny flaw you leave alone on purpose this week.
Try the skill: Good Enough GoldGet Totally Flawsome: 74 cards, digital $19.99Just for fun. Nothing you tap is saved.Flaw Curious
You can let some things slide, and a few still sting for hours. You are closer than you think. Practice letting a small mistake be small.
Try the skill: Real, Not ShinyGet Totally Flawsome: 74 cards, digital $19.99Just for fun. Nothing you tap is saved.Totally Flawsome
Flaws and all, still awesome. You let mistakes be mistakes most days. Keep it fun, and pass it on to someone who needs it.
Try the skill: Totally FlawsomeGet Totally Flawsome: 74 cards, digital $19.99Just for fun. Nothing you tap is saved.Where can I keep Totally Flawsome close?
Totally Flawsome card deck
74 small practice cards to laugh at the flaws and shrink the inner critic. Digital $19.99, printed $69.99.
See it in the shop
Totally Flawsome mug
Flexi hugging a heart, for coffee that does not need to be perfect. $19.99.
See it in the shop
Totally Flawsome Trio
Latte mug, mouse pad and laptop sleeve for your desk. $69.99.
See it in the shopQuestions people ask
Is it bad to be afraid of making mistakes?
No. It is a very common habit, especially for perfectionists and people pleasers. It becomes a problem when it stops you trying things or keeps you up at night. If it gets in the way of work, sleep or relationships, talk with a doctor or licensed counselor. Flexi teaches everyday skills, not treatment.
How do I stop replaying my mistakes?
Name the mistake once, decide on one fix if it needs one, then move your attention to something you can do right now. The replay fades faster when you stop feeding it.
What is Totally Flawsome?
Totally Flawsome is a Flexi skill (FM 5.11), a 74 card practice deck and a line of gifts with one idea: flaws and all, and still awesome.