Glossary
The Flexi glossary.
Every Flexi word in one place, each in one plain sentence. Tap any skill to open its page.
- Saves nothing you write
- Paid safely through Apple, Google or Shopify
- Written by a licensed clinical social worker
What do the main Flexi words mean?
- Overcontrol
- A coping style of holding on tight: to plans, to feelings and to doing things right. Helpful at times, costly when it shuts people out.
- The five patterns
- Perfectionism, people pleasing, always being the strong one, control and certainty seeking, and holding it all in.
- Loneliness
- The shared cost of all five patterns. When people only see the controlled version of you, it is hard to feel close.
- The Flexi Method
- Our original set of 86 small, everyday skills in nine groups, from Feel Safe to Live Your Values.
- FM number
- The number of a Flexi Method skill. FM 5.3 is the third skill in group five.
- Flexi
- Our goofy stick figure guide, who shows every skill as a pose you can copy.
- Picture it
- The one image that sums up a skill, so it is easy to remember in the moment.
- Grip Check
- A free 12 question quiz that shows which of the five patterns you lean on most.
- Flexi Short
- A short animated video that teaches one skill with Flexi.
What are all the Flexi skills?
01 Feel Safe
02 Notice
03 Open Up
04 Feel It
- FM 4.1Blush and Repair
- FM 4.2Cheer Them On
- FM 4.3Lighten Up
- FM 4.4Soft Landing
- FM 4.5Armor Down
- FM 4.6Shine a Light on Shame
- FM 4.7Guilt Guide
- FM 4.8Message Received
- FM 4.9Willing to Feel
- FM 4.10Carry It Along
- FM 4.11Sting Check
- FM 4.12Envy to Admire
- FM 4.13Wobbly Welcome
- FM 4.14Hold the Wince
- FM 4.15Soft Spot Allowed
- FM 4.16Leave It Open
- FM 4.17Give It a Seat
- FM 4.18Soak It Up
- FM 4.19Plan a Little Joy
- FM 4.20Thanks Out Loud
- FM 4.21Play on Purpose
- FM 4.22Share the Good
05 Bend
07 Connect
08 Signal
Questions people ask
How many Flexi skills are there?
86, in nine groups.
Do I need to learn them all?
No. Most people start with three or four that fit their pattern.
Not sure this is your pattern?Take the free Grip Check. Twelve quick statements, about two minutes, and it names the pattern that is gripping hardest right now.
Take the free Grip Check: name your pattern in 2 minutes